WATERFORD Gardaí have vowed to clamp down on one of the most dangerous operations known to man, stating they are absolutely disgusted with the nation, WWN has learned.
“The fact that people we know and protect could go out of their way to build fully functional home bars with pool tables, dart boards, widescreen TVs, toilets and even bloody smoking areas and have the audacity to not even invite us is one of the most despicable acts we’ve witnessed this year,” a joint statement from Waterford city and county Garda stations read.
“You people have stooped to a real low here with not so much as a sneaky late night WhatsApp invite text is a real reflection on the kind of scumbags we have to deal with on a daily basis. Well, if that’s the way you pricks want to play it, then we’ve no other option but to shut your asses down,” the 300-page warning continued, as several teams of Gardaí swooped on shebeens operating across the county this morning.
“Every good publican knows that giving gardaí late night pints and lock-ins is all part of running a successful Irish pub. How you thought you could get away with not inviting us is a sure sign of your amateurness and you may now face the consequences”.
Concluding the statement, Gardaí hinted that they may turn a blind eye to future shebeens, but only if they provide adequate seating during the upcoming All-Ireland Hurling final.