CITING the exorbitant cost of petrol since the dawn of humanity, local motorist Kevin Kileen has ‘white knuckled’ driving with a fuel gauge permanently in the red for the last 7 years.
“I’ve just never had enough cash to justify spending on a full tank,” explained the father-of-two who has always had other pressing financial needs that came before burning a €50 note at the petrol pump.
“And plus, it’s like a fun little game,” said Kileen, who is always begging his car not to run out of gas in the middle of a motorway.
While this method may not be good for his blood pressure, the Waterford man says his bank balance simply wouldn’t survive the regular filling of his petrol tank.
“Full petrol tanks aren’t for the likes of me, that’s Elon Musk money boi,” explained Kileen as he ran quick maths in his head, calculating if the gauge being ‘really, really, really’ in the red had enough juice for the school run, training, a trip to the in-laws and the big shop.
“To the uninitiated that fuel gauge light blinking means it’s serious trouble but to me, a seasoned broke as fuck working man, I know that means I’ve precisely 17.4 kilometres left which explains why the car felt so heavy today – I’m not normally carrying this much fuel,” concluded Kileen, now siphoning fuel from his neighbour’s lawn mower.