DESCRIBED as a ‘well-ventilated, open plan living area’ that would ‘suit a small family’, a Dublin manger has drawn anger from renters after hitting the property market at €1,300 a month.
The property, located at the edge of the city with ‘stunning views of the surrounding sheep-covered hills’, was listed this morning and has already attracted dozens of desperate renters who are looking to find somewhere to live ahead of the new year.
Details about the listing include;
– Centrally heated by cow breath
– Light supplied by constant overhead starlight
– Animals welcome (a refreshing change from the usual pet-free demands)
– Crib included for infant use, can remove if not needed
– Easily accessible by donkey, no other public transport in vicinity
– No HAP recipients may apply
Although outrage exists about such a small premises being put out for such a high figure, the government have remained adamant that there is nothing they can do to curb rents in the city, adding that the availability of property in the area serves as a reminder that places to live in Dublin do exist, and maybe the housing crisis isn’t as bad as everyone says it is.
“We keep hearing about how there’s no room anywhere, well, what do you call this?” asked a spokesperson for the Department of Housing.
“As for freezing rents, well, what would Jesus do? We’re sure the Holy Family would have paid for better accommodation if they’d wanted to. These people say they’ve nothing, but they’re all sitting on mountains of Frankincense”.
The DoH also hit out at any ‘no room at the inn’ claims, stating that there’s new hotels being built in Dublin every day that will easily solve that problem.