THE government has urged college campuses around the country to organise charity-driven food banks on a weekly basis, to ensure that cash-strapped students never have to miss a rent payment.
The statement comes after University College Cork announced that their food bank had been ‘cleaned out’ in less than an hour with many students left empty-handed, prompting fears that those young people might resort to their rent money to feed themselves.
“Many struggling investment funds have to cope with the uncertainty over whether or students will be able to pay them their rent at the end of every month” stated a spokesperson for the government at the launch of a new ‘More Food Banks’ initiative.
“So it’s up to the people to make sure that our young people don’t have to worry about paying for food, and that every penny they have can go to meeting their accommodation bills. Only you can help them here, because we’re not going to. Donate all you can to your local food bank. Honestly, they’re students, so don’t go nuts. Super noodles and cereal will do the job”.
Meanwhile the announcement that food banks are being used to prop up student finances to allow them to pay rent has been met with outcry in the comments sections of any news outlet carrying the story.
“If they weren’t spending all their money on drink and drugs, they could afford to feed themselves!” commented hundreds of experts at the same time, crashing servers around the country.
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