SOME WELCOME news amidst the steady increase in Covid-19 cases as the government unveiled its new Green List for travel abroad, which will now be updated on a weekly basis in order to maximise the stress and anxiety for people who have a legitimate need to travel.
Padding out what would have been a deflating list of just the four countries of Cyprus, Finland, Latvia and Liechtenstein, the government added the tourism hot spots of Asgard, Westeros, Liliput and Tatooine in a bid to stave of accusations that such lists are largely pointless.
“Ha, you didn’t think we’d publish a pathetic list with just 4 nations on it did you?” explained Minister for Please, No Tourists Catherine Martin
“You can sun yourself on Tatooine, get lost in Narnia, do a nice weekend break in the Emerald City, it’s all there,” added the Minister before clarifying again that obviously, the government wants absolutely no one traveling abroad.
“Anyone with ill relatives, children abroad or other reasons for essential travel can rest easy knowing Gotham City, watch out for the bats, The Upside Down, Neverland and The Shire are among countless other locations that meet are strict but easy to understand requirements for the Green List.
Critics have again railed against the Green List calling it a poorly managed nonsense but despite the variety of locations on offer, it is believed the majority of travelers will decide to head to Liechenstein; the 25km long principality with no airport that requires people from Ireland to quarantine for 10 days.
Meanwhile, in response to this latest news Ryanair recalled the one staff member responsible for processing customer refunds back from their 6 month holiday and put them to work on posting more passive aggressive tweets aimed at the government.