FEARING a second wave thanks to a rise in new covid-19 cases in its capital city, the rest of the Irish nation looked on in concerned horror today at Dublin, sparking a string of well meaning messages wishing their big smoke brothers and sisters well.
“Bahahahahahahahahaha,” read one of at least ten thousand supportive tweets using the hashtag #DublinsFuckedLol, now trending in Ireland for the past 24 hours.
The overwhelming messages of solidarity come after Taoiseach Micheál Martin urged Dubliners not to travel outside of the county if at all possible, following the publication of the Government’s clear and precise medium-term plan for living with Covid-19.
“Keep them there for the rest of the year,” suggested a concerned Twitter user from Cork, obviously worried at the possibility of the virus spreading further, “fuck it, lock the Dubs down until 2022, give everyone a bit of peace and maybe some chance at winning the football”.
The capital, like the rest of the country, is currently at level two of the new ‘Living with Covid’ roadmap, but could move to level three in the coming days, leaving the remainder of the country ‘in turmoil’ at the thoughts of it.
“The fact no one from Dublin may not be allowed travel around the country with their beautiful accents and graceful manners is devastating,” one Courtown resident said, laughing profusely for several minutes before managing to contain themselves, “haha oh God no, this is awful altogether, we’re going to have our seaside resort for ourselves again?”
“We’re all absolutely devastated down here,” a now ecstatic group of Wexford locals added, before falling over onto the ground in a fetal position, tears streaming from their eyes from laughter and banging their fist off the ground in glorious joy.