“SORRY, who?” remarked local man Alan Nealon in disbelief after discovering his friend, Martin Tracy, a man he has known for upwards of 15 years, is not the man he thought he was.
“Oh, I was just saying Santy will have to wear a mask this year and that, haha,” Tracy, a grown man confirmed.
Unable to shake what he had just heard, Nealon asked Tracy to spell out what he was saying and when he obliged, Nealon was left shook to his core.
“My hearing must be going or something. Are you after calling Santa ‘Santy’, or have you had an allergic reaction or something, and your lips have swelled up making it impossible for you to correctly name Santa?” asked Nealon, as the conversation become visibly more tense.
Attempting to simply laugh off his use of the infantile name for Santa Claus, Tracy only provoked Nealon’s ire further.
“Lad, there’s no kids around, it’s just us, why would ya say Santy? D’ya call your auld pair Mammy and Daddy, do ya? No, you’d want to take a good hard look at yourself,” Nealon added, unable to calm down.
“It’s ‘Santa’. ‘Santy’ is what absolute saps call the Greek island of Zakynthos for short, but you wouldn’t be using that for Santa like. You’d want to have something seriously wrong with yourself, d’ya call milk ‘moo moo juice’ or the car a ‘broom broom’. Fucking cop on boy, would ya?”