alcohol


Bitter Gardaí Bust Shebeen After Not Receiving Invite

WATERFORD Gardaí have vowed to clamp down on one of the most dangerous operations known to man, stating they are absolutely disgusted with the nation, WWN has learned. “The fact that people we know and protect could go out of their way to build fully functional home bars with pool tables, dart boards, widescreen TVs,… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Off-Licence Shelves Lay Empty With 4 Mile Queues Following Threat To Curb Hours

REMINISCENT of the first initial lockdown which saw people hoarding toilet roll ahead of a nationwide lockdown, hundreds of thousands of panicked consumers took to their local off-licences this week as the government openly contemplated reducing hours in some kind of deranged social experiment. “Yeah great idea, assholes,” remarked 2,356th in the queue for Maddigans… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Barman Still Sour As Fuck As Pubs Reopen

PUNTERS at the Cattle & Stick bar in Waterford who were expecting a warm welcome from landlord Jimmy Devlan after 6 months away were stunned to find that the 54-year-old publican is just as perpetually pissed-off as he ever was, WWN can report. Like the vast majority of pubs around Ireland, the Cattle & Stick… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Guinness Flatulence Wards Off Covid-19, Finds New Vintners Study

A HIGHLY scientific new study carried out by the Vintners Association of Ireland has found that flatulence caused by drinking at least three pints of Guinness can ward off the Coronavirus, WWN can confirm. Sponsored by Diageo, the study was carried out in a ‘test bar’ in Dublin’s city centre with over 100 subjects who… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Nation Will Turn Into Alcoholics If Pubs Don’t Open Soon, Warns Study

A WORRYING new report published today has warned that if Irish pubs do not open soon, the majority of its citizens will turn into full blown alcoholics by September, WWN can confirm. The study found that people who would have normally drank in a pub one or two nights a week have become so worried… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…