coronavirus

Traffic Tailbacks Helping Nation Re-Acclimatise To Normal Life

THE nation has given An Garda Síochána’s Operation Fanacht two very enthusiastic thumbs-up, citing the epic tailbacks on all major routes around the country as a welcome return to the drudge and misery of everyday life. “I had been very worried about the Coronavirus for months now, so it’s nice to have something even worse… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Family Not Going To Bother With That Restriction Shite This Time Around

HAVING adhered strictly to every phase of the last full-sacle nationwide lockdown put in place by the Irish government only to see Covid cases rises again to dangerous levels after the country re-opened, Dublin family the Duggans are opting to ‘not bother their holes’ with new advice to minimise their contacts and avoid crowded places…. Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Students Suspended For Breaching Covid Guidelines To Use Golfgate Judge Excuse

ELEVEN UCC students suspended for allegedly breaching Covid-19 safety guidelines at the university are being urged to use a now tried and trusted method recently utilised by Golfgate judge Mr Justice Seamus Woulfe and simply shrug their shoulders and say they weren’t aware of the rules. The students could be aided by the fact such… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Nightclub Bouncers Installed On Dublin Border

AHEAD of the imminent announcement that Dublin is to be placed at a ‘Level 3.5b/figure it out yourself, minus the square root of face mask’, authorities have strategically placed nightclub bouncers along the county’s border. “Not tonight pal,” groused one of hundreds of bouncers all named Mick, to a desperate Dubliner trying to gain entry… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Leaked: What A Dublin Lockdown Will Look Like

AHEAD of the much hinted out localised lockdown of Dublin, WWN has gained exclusive access to leaked documents outlining exactly what lockdown will look like in the capital if action needs to be taken to avert a further spread and rise in cases. In the minutes before lockdown is announced, Dubliners will hear the unmistakable… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Second Lockdown Inevitable, Confirms Some Lad In Shop

BREAKING news emanating from a local shop today has confirmed that a second national lockdown is absolutely inevitable, WWN can report without any hesitation. Sparking a media frenzy this morning, some random lad in Russell’s shop on Main Street made the announcement while waiting on a ham, cheese lettuce and coleslaw roll, before elaborating further… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…



“What In The Ever Living Fuck Is Going On?” WWN Explains The Government’s New Covid Measures

YESTERDAY evening’s briefing by the government on new measures, guidelines and restrictions in light of a rise in case numbers brought with it some consternation, frustration and one loud “what in the ever living fuck is going on?” While the government admitted that it was an error to take a drunken uncle’s speech at a… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…



WWN’s Exclusive Q&A With An Irish Meat Baron

AS THE debate surrounding Covid-19 clusters in meat factories continues, instead of falling into the contemptible media practice of vilifying owners and tarnishing their good names, WWN decided to speak directly to one owner of a meat processing facility, Gary Foodman. And as is evidenced from the Q&A below, Foodman, cigar in mouth and tightly… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…