dublin


Temple Bar Declared Urine Free For First Time In 200 Years

THE streets and bar populating the popular Dublin hot spot have been declared piss-free for the first time in over two centuries, with experts citing the Covid pandemic as the main reason why so little urine has been expelled in the area over the last 12 months. “When we say main reason, well, it’s the… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Couple Get That Dublin Is Overpriced Kip But They’re Still Not Moving To Carlow

DESPITE news that Dublin rental prices decreased to levels that mean a rancid bedsit the size of shriveled grape is only €1400 a month, one local couple have maintained their stance that the capital is not enough of an overpriced kip to consider moving to Carlow. “Stabbings becoming an Olympic sport, soul crushing rent, traffic… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Dublin Manger Listed For €1,300 A Month On Daft

DESCRIBED as a ‘well-ventilated, open plan living area’ that would ‘suit a small family’, a Dublin manger has drawn anger from renters after hitting the property market at €1,300 a month. The property, located at the edge of the city with ‘stunning views of the surrounding sheep-covered hills’, was listed this morning and has already… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Has Dublin Lost Its Soul? Iveagh Markets Not Being Turned Into Hotel

A CRISIS is emerging in Dublin following the soul destroying news that the derelict Iveagh Markets site in The Liberties will not be turned into a hotel, and instead could be restored to its original form after being repossessed by Lord Iveagh. Decried as a ‘cancer eating away at Dublin’s soul’, many worried developers have… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Dubliners Asked To House Zoo Animals Until Funding Found

FACING A precarious financial crisis which could result in the full permanent closure of Dublin Zoo, officials at the zoo have turned to locals to help house and feed the animals until the necessary funding is found. “We haven’t been paid in months and now I’ve t’live with this moldy prick who hogs the remote… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Objections To New Cycle Track Going Up Side Of The Spire

A PROPOSED cycle lane which goes up one side of Dublin city’s Spire and down the other has so far received over 1,000 written objections from locals, WWN has learned. The sudden appearance of the cycle lane has caused outrage, with objectors claiming the lane will ruin the look of the giant monument, which is… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Letter From O’Rahilly House As It Was Being Demolished Found In Rubble

CONSTRUCTION workers carting away the last of the rubble from the recently-demolished ‘O’Rahilly House’ in Ballsbridge have unearthed a poignant last note seemingly written by the house itself as it slowly fell apart under sustained bulldozerage. The house, which had been home to 1916 Rising leader Michael ‘The O’Rahilly’ O’Rahilly, had been awaiting a protection… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


“This Fucking City Man” Says Dublin Bike Thief Who Had Stolen Bike Stolen

“I ONLY fucking stole that bike yesterday!” Staring in disbelief at where the bike, which he had only liberated from a lock wrapped around a lamppost yesterday should be, veteran thief Stevie Nicks has had his last ounce of hope ground out of him by ‘this bastarding, Godforsaken city’. “Dublin man, this fucking place… I’m… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


“Don’t Leave Me In Here With Them” Culchies Plead In Locked Down Dublin

PAWING desperately at the lock on the closed gates at the edge of the Dublin/Kildare border, one fleeing culchie has been pleading with her fellow non-Dublin natives not to leave her behind and forsake her as Dublin enters new restrictions. Racing out of Dublin City centre earlier today, in a scene reminiscent of a zombie… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…