LIFESTYLE

New Outdoor Dining Rules Revealed

AHEAD of a return to outdoor dining for pubs, cafes and restaurants the government revealed the full range of rules and stipulations which have been met with universal approval from all affected parties, as predicted. WWN can reproduce the rules for dining below in full below: 6 people per table with a maximum combined height… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Waxers To Invest In Hedge Trimmers Ahead Of Reopening

FOLLOWING the announcement that hairdressers, barbers and salons are to reopen on the 10th of May, the government unveiled a new funding scheme aimed at helping the nation’s waxing technicians purchase hedge trimmers. “It’s no good reopening and offering these services if they can’t cope with the post-lockdown demands of some customers,” confirmed Minister for… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…




Local Man Decides To Squint For Rest Of His Life Instead Of Getting Glasses

DENYING all accusations that he is being stubborn and obstinate, one local Waterford man has vowed to condemn himself to a life of strained squinting instead of getting his eyes tested, WWN can reveal. Cormac Carton (53) has in recent years felt a serious decline in his vision, finding it increasingly hard to see things… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…



Guinness Flatulence Wards Off Covid-19, Finds New Vintners Study

A HIGHLY scientific new study carried out by the Vintners Association of Ireland has found that flatulence caused by drinking at least three pints of Guinness can ward off the Coronavirus, WWN can confirm. Sponsored by Diageo, the study was carried out in a ‘test bar’ in Dublin’s city centre with over 100 subjects who… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Local Woman Designates Herself As Covid-19 Town Prefect

A COUNTY Waterford woman has taken it upon herself to enforce Covid-19 guidelines by designating herself as town prefect, much to the absolute disdain of everyone that knows her. Speaking from the comfort of her own home while wearing a high visibility vest she ordered online, Dana Woods began rattling off a string of rule… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Nation Will Turn Into Alcoholics If Pubs Don’t Open Soon, Warns Study

A WORRYING new report published today has warned that if Irish pubs do not open soon, the majority of its citizens will turn into full blown alcoholics by September, WWN can confirm. The study found that people who would have normally drank in a pub one or two nights a week have become so worried… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…