THERE were sombre scenes earlier today as parents Brian and Yvonne O’Sullivan took the bottle of Moet down from the top shelf in the kitchen and began jumping up and down and dancing on the sofa in utter devstation.
“I mean we always knew this blessed, I mean cursed news, was coming but nothing prepares you for it, I couldn’t get the confetti canons at such short notice,” Yvonne explained, now robbed of seeing her youngest Lily play sheep no.3 in the school’s nativity play.
“The teacher said we can stream it live and send you the link and I said ‘don’t you fucking dare’,” explained Brian, in between glugs of champagne, so devastated by not being able to see it in person he couldn’t possibly torture himself with watching it on a screen.
The O’Sullivans are one of just thousands of parents inconsolable at the loss of the annual nativity play, which in no way drags on for hours and makes Wild Mountain Thyme look like Schindler’s List on steroids.
“We heard rumours that they might stage it out in the yard of the school so parents could attend, so we got a solicitor to threaten to sue the school if it dared. Y’know, purely because we didn’t want the poor lambs to freeze outdoors,” added Yvonne.
Staff at St. Francis of Andre Agassi Primary School reported that word that parents wouldn’t be allowed attend the nativity had led to overwhelming number of parents trying to immediately transfer their child into the school.
Elsewhere, an online petition started by Ciara Halpin, mother of Saoirse, who’s playing Mary this year, demanding that the play only be staged post-Covid when all parents can attend has reached minus 54 signatures.