THE FULL results from last year’s census have been made public and among headline shifts in Irish society include the worrying decline in people declaring themselves Catholic with figures dropping from 79% of the population in 2016 to 69% in 2022.
Obviously, experts have struggled to find reasons why this could be the case but after WWN sifted through the archives we have found some minor scandals worthy of turning your back on the church:
– There were protests and mass mass-walkouts after a church in Cobh changed the recipe in its Communion bread. Reducing the body of Christ percentage in the wafers so the batches they made would last longer was labelled ‘a disgrace’ by many.
– In 2023 it was reported the Christian Brothers were using a legal loophole so that they couldn’t be taken to court by victims of child sexual abuse. The religious order refuses to put forward someone as a representative to act as a nominee in litigation, forcing a victim to pursue a lengthy and very expensive process. This has been described by victims a secondary form of abuse.
– Ignoring calls for a Spotify Discover Weekly style of prayers, which would include fresh prayers people haven’t heard in mass. While ‘Paul’s letter to the Corinthians’ absolutely slaps and is a banger, it’s been overdone at this stage.
– The discovery of the remains of children at Tuam and the Church’s ‘lol, pics or it didn’t happen’ attitude to the discovery.
– The failure of Jesus to appear in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Fans are craving it but the Church won’t give the people what they want.
– In a recent mass a priest in Kerry said gay people would burn in hell, which was a really unhelpful reminder for many lapsed Catholics that this is what the Church stands for.
– Did we mention the habitual rape of children, imprisonment of women, human trafficking of children?
– Pope Francis hasn’t gotten into a Twitter beef with anyone lately. Would it kill him to @ Kanye West and get shit popping off?
– Despite agreeing to a 50:50 split with the State in paying redress for abuse by religious orders, the Church is estimated to still owe €750mn.