POLITICS


Young Person Not Allowed Eat Or Drink Indoors Looking Forward To Serving People In Restaurant Indoors

21-YEAR-OLD waitress Laura Searson has expressed her immense excitement at the prospect of serving fully vaccinated people when there is a muddled return to indoor dining on the 19th of July. “Great, can’t wait” shared Searson with the sort of plummeting levels of enthusiasm normally displayed by a prisoner awaiting execution on death row. “When… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Special Helpline Set Up For Garda Commissioners Receiving Abuse For Failing Domestic Abuse Victims

ENSURING it operates in much the same way as existing 999 call procedures, anyone who rings the helpline will have their call dismissed. In an attempt to provide superficial support which will ultimately come to nothing, garda commissioners who find themselves accused of being a useful as a glass hammer now have someone to ring… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


“I Tried To Warn Them” Dog In The Street Says Of Maternity Hospital Issues

AS THE government finally discovers potentially huge issues with the governance and ownership of the proposed site for the new national maternity hospital, we spoke to one dog in the street who tried to warn the government years ago. “I barked and barked about how poorly thought out building a maternity hospital on land owned… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…



“It’s Okay, We’re All Filthy Liars” Political Parties Confirm

RESPONDING to the news that Sinn Féin had previously instructed members to don fake ID badges and lie to voters by knocking on their doors and claiming to be from a non-existent polling company, other Irish political parties have confirmed ‘relax, we were at the same thing more or less’. “It’s okay. Look, probably best… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Poots’ Visit To Ireland Included Trip To 5,999 Year Old Cliffs Of Moher

NEW DUP leader Edwin Poots has described North-South border relations as ‘never being as bad’ during a trip to the Republic this week, where he also took in some sightseeing in County Clare, where he marveled at the Cliffs Of Moher which were built on the 8th day after God had made everything else, some… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…



Government Unveil Groundbreaking ‘Let People Buy Houses’ Plan

“WHAT if, now go with me on this one” suggested think tank consultant working for the government earlier this week, as the Department Of Housing raced to get ahead of a wave of negative press surrounding the hoovering-up of houses by massive investment funds, locking renters out of the housing market for a generation. “Ok,… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Irate & Bare Chested Martin Calls Out Putin Over HSE Ransomware Hack

RECENT attacks carried out by the Russian backed Darkside and Evil Corp hacking groups has given rise to suspicions that Putin’s FSB may be responsible for the recent HSE ransomware hack which might explain why an irate and bare-chested Micheál Martin is in the middle of recording a call out video to the Russian leader…. Read more » Waterford Whispers News…