AN ice-cream van that still frequents the housing estates surrounding Waterford city can only be doing so as a front for a money laundering operation, according to a number of locals that we spoke to. Observers have estimated that the Mr. Creamy van, which has chosen Elton John’s ‘Rocket Man’ as its jingle for some… Read more » …
DEPARTING from their usual offerings of baked goods, porridge and other products Oldums food scientists revealed their latest creation which is set to revolutionise the family raring business, WWN can report. Leaning heavily on the proprietary technology used to create their range of self raising flours, Odlums have developed the first self raising children who… Read more » …
STARTING AT 2pm on Saturday the 24th of September at Parnell Square in Dublin a pre-budget cost of living protest is set to take place, aimed at pressuring government to address the issue. News of this protest will come as a big worry to people who have spent every waking hour giving out about the… Read more » …
SHOWING that it’s not just their counterparts in the UK press that can manufacture a moral panic and grossly misrepresent news items all because such things are good for revenue, sections of the Irish media are today defending reporting on the jailing of Enoch Burke for refusing to obey a court order. “Ooh, it’s spreading… Read more » …
THE LATEST reports coming into Waterford Whispers News seem to indicate that you’d worry about some people all the same. “They seem perfectly normal but they’ve just got a weird energy about them, a ‘wouldn’t leave them alone with the hoover nozzle’ sort of energy, y’know?” shared many people, heavily implying there’s much reason to… Read more » …
WARNINGS from experts that Ireland is ill-prepared for a potential energy shortage in winter is being taken very seriously by the government who are poised to sanction swift action, WWN can reveal. “We take all expert views seriously and my department is intent on assessing such scenarios for winter 2022, a paper will be prepared… Read more » …
LOCAL man Ciaran Farrell has returned from a year-long backpacking trip around south-east Asia with a newfound awareness of his place in the world, a deep respect for the cultures and customs of others, and a penis that looks like it could honestly fall off at any second. Farrell, who headed off on a nine-country… Read more » …
A QUICK survey checking the temperature among Irish people on the ground to the news of the MetroLink build reveals a deeply cynical population without an ounce of goodwill, positivity or hope. However, one survey respondent to buck the trend is Dublin man Eamon Ryan. WWN has reproduced his answers to the survey below in… Read more » …
ONE LOCAL Waterford man has been brave enough to just come out and say it, WWN can reveal. With the annual festivities underway Risteard McFultan has been unable to bite his tongue any longer, with his courageous thoughts on the gay community potentially opening the floodgates for like-minded people to say enough is enough. “I’m… Read more » …
A LUNCHTIME meet-up among four Waterford friends just got awkward as hell after late-to-the-party Derek Hampton apologised for not being on time due to the slow pace of ‘some bogger on a bicycle’ ahead of him. “I was stuck behind him for ages! Anyways, what are we all having?” asked Hampton, not noticing that the… Read more » …