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Socially Distanced Queuing For Bar To Go About As Well As You’d Expect

THE government has confirmed that they have ‘every faith9’ that patrons of bars and nightclubs will respect social distancing when queuing for drinks at the bar, despite there being 19 months worth of evidence that they can’t respect social distancing when queuing anywhere else. “We expect people to show personal responsibility when they’re 6 pints… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Poignant Monument To Spilled Tea Unveiled In Smithfield

THE President has held a moment’s silence for all the tea in Ireland that has been spilled, poured down the sink, tossed out into the back garden or otherwise wasted over the years, as he unveiled a new sculpture to the beverage in Dublin’s Smithfield area. “This nation owes a great debt to tea, and… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Unvaccinated Can’t Believe Unvaccinated Are Being Blamed For Unvaccinated Making Up Majority Of Hospital Cases

THE 300,000 people in the country who remain unvaccinated are struggling to understand how anyone could come to the conclusion that they should shoulder any of the blame for unvaccinated people making up the majority of ICU cases, WWN has learned. Fully agreeing that having a HSE seemingly made entirely out of wet tissue and… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


EU Starting To See IRA’s Point

WHILE nobody in the EU has come forward and condoned the Irish Republican Army’s campaign of bloody terror in Northern Ireland, leaks have suggested that many are starting to ‘see where they were coming from’, WWN can report. The memos come as the EU enters yet another crunch round of negotiations in the bitter Brexit… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Human Carbon Tax Metres Will Check Individual Arse Emissions

CARBON emission metres installed in a person’s backside are set to get the go ahead next year to help monitor human’s individual output and tax them according to how much methane they produce, WWN has learned. The flatulence metres are expected to cost each Irish citizen €300 with a bi-monthly bill ranging anywhere from 100… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Awesome! Place Man Got Mugged, Beaten Up, Beaten Up Again Named Among Coolest Neighbourhoods In The World

LOCAL Dublin 8 man David Kellans was in a celebratory mood this morning after learning his locality landed the no.15 spot on TimeOut magazine’s annual Coolest Neighbourhoods In The World list. “This is great honestly, the more lists Dublin 8 ends up on the more tourists will come and they’re easier targets then myself for… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Food Banks Ideal To Help Students Save Money To Give To Landlords

THE government has urged college campuses around the country to organise charity-driven food banks on a weekly basis, to ensure that cash-strapped students never have to miss a rent payment. The statement comes after University College Cork announced that their food bank had been ‘cleaned out’ in less than an hour with many students left… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…


Lick-Arse Cyclist Stops At Red Lights

WATERFORD cyclist Eamon O’Brian may adhere to the rules of the road and do his best to ensure a safe journey for himself and his fellow road users, but he isn’t about to win any popularity contests among the greater cycling community any time soon, WWN can report. “Well if it isn’t Mr. ‘I’m too… Read more » Waterford Whispers News…